The Jen Show
So, there are certain things that happen to my girlfriend Jen that could ONLY happen to her….I’ll explain.
For example, a couple months ago we were in the Palm Restaurant (fairly upscale place), and the waiter came up behind Jen and….started feeding her. Took the fork out of her hand, and started trying to delicately shovel food into her mouth. Jen protested, but the guy persisted. If any of you know the Palm…these are guys who are professional waiters…its not some place where kooky antics ensue, or the waiters have to wear a certain amount of ‘flair’ or whatever. So, the waiter finally gets the hint, and leaves…only to come back 5 minutes later and put a lobster bib on her (she didn’t order lobster), and try to feed her again. This time he got the hint fairly quickly. Believe me - I was expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out of a wall at any moment to tell us we had been punked.
So, tonight…we had another episode of what I call the ‘Jen show’…this time we are in London. We were going to go to Brick Lane, and have some Indian, but both decided we were too tired, and just went across the street to a pub to get some bangers & mash (which I had in honor of my guy Schmulka), and Jen had steak, and guiness pie.
We run into these three guys in the pub (which was packed) who were nice enough to let us have our dinner at their table (which they weren’t using - after circling the pub three times, Jen went up to them, and charmed them into letting us occupy it). Three guys in their mid forties – an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot. Anyway, we get to chatting with these three (the scot more than the others).
So, after a few minutes of chatting with these guys, the Englishman takes off his shirt (in the middle of the bar), and autographs it for Jen, and gives it to her (by the way the inscription was “From Crazy Big Kid – Sept 05”). Now, how did I know he was the Englishman? The second he took off his shirt…I knew….Yikes. Fee Fi Fo Fum, I see the build of an Englishman. Bad Times.
Anyway, he gave her the shirt, and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Of course, she did get a big sloppy kiss before he let her go. So, now we have a Neil Young shirt (Size XXL, thank you) from about 1985 to add to our collection.
PS - Let me recount the line of the night. This Scottish had a pretty thick accent, and I had to really focus to understand what he was saying. The Scot is trying to tell us which places to go to, and he says “Do you know Time Out?” (London magazine which lists all the happenings). I understood him, and said yes. Jen missed by little however, and responded with “K Mart? Of course we know K mart.”
For example, a couple months ago we were in the Palm Restaurant (fairly upscale place), and the waiter came up behind Jen and….started feeding her. Took the fork out of her hand, and started trying to delicately shovel food into her mouth. Jen protested, but the guy persisted. If any of you know the Palm…these are guys who are professional waiters…its not some place where kooky antics ensue, or the waiters have to wear a certain amount of ‘flair’ or whatever. So, the waiter finally gets the hint, and leaves…only to come back 5 minutes later and put a lobster bib on her (she didn’t order lobster), and try to feed her again. This time he got the hint fairly quickly. Believe me - I was expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out of a wall at any moment to tell us we had been punked.
So, tonight…we had another episode of what I call the ‘Jen show’…this time we are in London. We were going to go to Brick Lane, and have some Indian, but both decided we were too tired, and just went across the street to a pub to get some bangers & mash (which I had in honor of my guy Schmulka), and Jen had steak, and guiness pie.
We run into these three guys in the pub (which was packed) who were nice enough to let us have our dinner at their table (which they weren’t using - after circling the pub three times, Jen went up to them, and charmed them into letting us occupy it). Three guys in their mid forties – an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot. Anyway, we get to chatting with these three (the scot more than the others).
So, after a few minutes of chatting with these guys, the Englishman takes off his shirt (in the middle of the bar), and autographs it for Jen, and gives it to her (by the way the inscription was “From Crazy Big Kid – Sept 05”). Now, how did I know he was the Englishman? The second he took off his shirt…I knew….Yikes. Fee Fi Fo Fum, I see the build of an Englishman. Bad Times.
Anyway, he gave her the shirt, and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Of course, she did get a big sloppy kiss before he let her go. So, now we have a Neil Young shirt (Size XXL, thank you) from about 1985 to add to our collection.
PS - Let me recount the line of the night. This Scottish had a pretty thick accent, and I had to really focus to understand what he was saying. The Scot is trying to tell us which places to go to, and he says “Do you know Time Out?” (London magazine which lists all the happenings). I understood him, and said yes. Jen missed by little however, and responded with “K Mart? Of course we know K mart.”
posted by EuroSchecky | 8:20 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe your Jen is a celebrity? ;)
I can't believe I never heard about the Palm Restaurant incident. It makes me think that we need to bottle whatever it is that Jen is emitting to warrant this attention everywhere she goes. We could make a million. Glad you are good humored enough to put up with it all!
Best of luck in London!
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